This week my husband and I were on our way back from camping and we stopped by a local quilt shop. As I was browsing through the fabric there was a 30 something mother and her daughter, who looked like she may be a 5th grader, shopping for fabric. The daughter picked up a bolt of fabric to which her mother said, 'Is that the fabric you want for your quilt?" To which the daughter said, "Yes, it isn't the only quilt that I'll ever make." I chuckled and chimed in, "That's right! There will ALWAYS be more quilts!" The mom then told me her daughter was picking out fabric for the first quilt she would make all by herself. "Good for you!" I told the girl and then went back to shopping.
It was a small quilt shop. It would be impossible not to hear the conversations around you. As I shopped the mother tried to guide her daughter in her fabric choices. Her language was laced with, 'you have to', 'you should', 'you can't', 'you always', 'you never', etc......... As the fabric choices continued I could hear the young girl's voice get less and less interested. Please don't think I am being critical of the mother. I know the mom was just trying to make sure her daughter would have a pretty first quilt. I've said those words myself to my daughters when they were young, and honestly I wonder how much I quashed their desire to sew. I know that mom had the best of intentions it was just the words she chose that were meant for good but were laced with negativity.
It got me thinking about the words we use when we guide other's in their quilting journey. There are so many debates out in the quilting world....quilt shop fabric vs big box store fabric, press seams to one side vs. press seams open, prewash vs not prewash, dense quilting vs just enough quilting, modern vs traditional and I could go on and on. The world of quilting is so big and varied and every technique has it's positives and negatives. I think it is important that when people ask for guidance in their quilting journey we use language that helps them find 'their' technique. We need to present the advantages and disadvantages and present the good options that we are aware of and admit there might be other better options that need to be researched. Then we need to stand back and let them find he one that works for them. We then need to encourage by being happy with and for them as they are enjoying their quilting journey. It all comes down to the words we use. Encourage with options, praise without negating, leave room for experimentation and mistakes. It is all part of the process and craft.
It was a small quilt shop. It would be impossible not to hear the conversations around you. As I shopped the mother tried to guide her daughter in her fabric choices. Her language was laced with, 'you have to', 'you should', 'you can't', 'you always', 'you never', etc......... As the fabric choices continued I could hear the young girl's voice get less and less interested. Please don't think I am being critical of the mother. I know the mom was just trying to make sure her daughter would have a pretty first quilt. I've said those words myself to my daughters when they were young, and honestly I wonder how much I quashed their desire to sew. I know that mom had the best of intentions it was just the words she chose that were meant for good but were laced with negativity.
It got me thinking about the words we use when we guide other's in their quilting journey. There are so many debates out in the quilting world....quilt shop fabric vs big box store fabric, press seams to one side vs. press seams open, prewash vs not prewash, dense quilting vs just enough quilting, modern vs traditional and I could go on and on. The world of quilting is so big and varied and every technique has it's positives and negatives. I think it is important that when people ask for guidance in their quilting journey we use language that helps them find 'their' technique. We need to present the advantages and disadvantages and present the good options that we are aware of and admit there might be other better options that need to be researched. Then we need to stand back and let them find he one that works for them. We then need to encourage by being happy with and for them as they are enjoying their quilting journey. It all comes down to the words we use. Encourage with options, praise without negating, leave room for experimentation and mistakes. It is all part of the process and craft.
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